My Heart is Full

It has been way too long since we've had some non-adoption related family updates!  Here is a photo over load of some of the fun we've had in the last several months:

 These little nuggets turned three.  THREE!!  I guess I cannot refer to them as "the babies" any longer.  Somehow "the pre-schoolers" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.  They are the most complicated,  sanctifying, fulfilling, overwhelming, joyful, complex, and stretching part of each day for me.  There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't say, "God, you sure you wanted me (ME?!) to be the mommy of twins?!  I sure do make a mess of almost each day!"  Yet He is so faithful to use the challenges of mothering multiples to show me my desperate need for Him.  I am so humbled and thankful He did pick me!  Mama of twins is such a unique thing.  It is hard to put words to it.  You twin mamas out there totally get it, I know!  I adore them and cherish them.  This age, while carrying a special set of challenges, is seriously so much fun for Chris and I!  I love little people in my home.  I hope to keep it that way for a long time to come.  We must have little people!  Joshua and Grace abound with joy and I love their special bond.

This boy saw fit to turn six the following month!!  SIX!  Surely I am not old enough to mother a six year old!  Jacob has had an explosive year with his reading.  We went from "Hop on Pop" to full throttle with chapter books!  We went to the library last night and checked out at least five new books and I have no doubt they will all be done in two weeks or less!  This boy loves to read and it makes my heart so happy!  Jacob is an amazing big brother.  He loves his siblings and they adore him.  He is mature and poised and he makes us proud!  We have chosen, as a family, to pursue home school next year and participate in a local Classical Conversations community as a part of that.  He and I are so excited to embark on this journey together.  We can't wait to see what God has in store in the coming school year.  He is wrapping up his time at Trinity with gusto and working so hard.  He loves to study and learn!

My heart and my arms are full. Sometimes I find myself looking at photos like this and I try to picture our second daughter with us.  Yes, my heart and arms are full--yet they long for her to come and ache with the emptiness her absence brings. Until then, I pray for her and rejoice in what I have right now, knowing all of it, all of this, is part of His glorious plan for me.  Blessed indeed.

Specific Prayer Need

I have a very specific prayer request for all those prayer warriors out there to focus on.  Would you please pray for Chris to be able to get his physical with as little missed work as possible? (None is the most ideal option).  I completed my physical last week on Monday and while it was necessary and important, it is also now a ticking time bomb.  The signatures are time sensitive and we need to get it to China before those dates expire.  We can't send it to China until the dossier is complete.  I can't start the dossier until Chris' physical is complete.  I need all the time possible to gather those dossier documents.  Basically, each day that passes between my physical being done and Chris' not being done is wasted time.  We need it to happen....SOON!  The new job is  providing some potential opportunities to get the physical done there, but if it cannot happen there, the new job is creating a problem to go to our family doctor, due to Chris not wanting to take time off right when he started his new job.  All that to say, it is complicated and we need it to happen as soon as possible (this week or next would be fabulous!!).  Would you please pray for God to pave the way for Chris to get his physical very, very soon? 

Concluded

Today, Chris and I had our fourth and final interview with our social worker for our home study process.  She said to us at the end, "Well, this interview has concluded your home study process."  Wait.  What?!  What does that say?  Yep.  CONCLUDED.  Finished.  Complete.  Done.  Sorta.  We lack two documents that should be gathered and submitted super soon. 

I don't know how I feel.  This home study has been such a way of life and has occupied permanent space in my brain.  Now it is over.  Phew!  Huge sigh of relief!  I am elated, overjoyed, energized, and excited, yet also weary, war torn, and nervous over what bumps we'll hit in the next portion of the road.  I do know that God is with us and while we might be battered a bit and tired of spending evenings on "parent education", He is utterly and completely in control of this and we are so thankful He is allowing us to walk this road.

So, what next?  We have to jump a few more hoops and get our home study to the super duper end of the road where it is magically declared finalized.  I am excited about the word "concluded" today, but in the next few weeks finalized will really have me feeling giddy.  Once that word is attached to it, it is locked and loaded, signed and sealed, not to be touched again (unless we pay a big 'ole fee).  Next stop will be US Immigrations for the next 2-3 months where they will review our application and home study and decide whether or not our application to adopt internationally will be approved or denied.  While our home study is hangin' with the nice people of USCIS, we will work on compiling all the necessary documents for our dossier.

We have had many, many people ask us about time lines from this point forward and while I can make fantastic estimations, they are just that.  Estimations.  What I learned about myself through the process of the home study is that estimations are great, and even useful at times, but they often lead to disappointment (primarily for me).  So, a lot like when you are pregnant and you don't know the exact date you'll go into labor, but you wait and watch for signs of the coming baby. We know that when all is said and done, we will hopefully one day exit an airplane on US soil with our daughter in our arms. We don't know when, but as the time draws closer, we'll be sure to clue you in that we're watching for signs of labor.

For now I will just sit back and bask in the goodness of a home study process that has concluded.

Nine Months and One Hand!

Happy nine months of adoption journey, today!  Nine months ago we put months and years and ages of talking, praying, thinking, wishing, hoping to be chosen to adopt into action.  We filled out the form.  We said YES!  We want to be part of a child's journey to a family.  July 7, 2013 will be a date I will not forget.  One of many significant dates in our adoption journey.

One hand!  Five fingers!  Actually, less than five fingers!  That is the number of items that stand between us and the completion of our home study!

Today, I went to the doctor and had my physical completed.  Shew!  I am a human pin cushion!  Three vials of blood, a tetanus shot, and a Hep A and B vaccine (and I have to go back two more times for boosters in the next six months!).  We've saved these physicals for the very last thing because they are time sensitive little documents!  We need to get these babies in a dossier and off to China so we don't have to repeat them!

From what I can see, our home study should be complete in APRIL (!!!!!)  if we can get Chris' physical completed soon!  Would you join me in  praying the following? That I will retrieve all the documents from our physicals hiccup free.  That Chris will be able to work around his work schedule and get his physical completed and miss as little work as possible.  That our fourth and FINAL interview for our home study will go smoothly this week.

Somebody do a cartwheel with me!  I've been dreaming of a little girl....  One step closer to eventually seeing her face and holding her close!

Getting So Close!

It has been a while since there was an adoption update, largely because there has been nothing (or not much) to update.  This home study process has proven to be a complete labor of love.  On April 7th we'll have been at this process for nine months.  Nine months.  And we still do not have a complete home study.  Why is it taking so long?  I've asked myself this question many times.  Part of it is us...we are moving slow, taking our time getting through some of the requirements, and allowed ourselves to get heavily bogged down with some of the "harder to complete" items on the list.  Part of it is that our agency requires a lot from us.  I don't dislike our agency because of it.  I still feel one hundred percent certain this is the agency God would have us use and I would encourage anyone to use them (though I would caution them that the agency estimate of 3-4 months for home study completion might be a little off).  We love them, we love our social worker, and we know that all the tedious and redundant hoops they are asking us to jump through are solely for the benefit and protection of our family.  We will be prepared.  Eyes wide open.  As prepared as you can be.  As prepared as an expectant mother feels for her first experience with labor and child birth.  The fact that this has taken us what will end up being a little over nine months seems so significant to me and explains a lot about my current level of baby lust and eagerness to get this little person home and pulling on my pant leg.  Nine months would be your typical length of pregnancy.  At the end of all this I will not get the joy of pushing and delivering a sweet child into my arms, but oh, the joy and elation I will feel when I pick up that home study hot off the press and get to begin gathering the documents for our dossier!  We'll be so many steps closer to truly being paper pregnant!

I will not lie.  I have floundered through this process.  I've wanted adoption to consume when really, right now, adoption needs to fit in.  We have three other children.  We won't get these days back with them.  So the nights spent snuggling a little person rather than watching an education video are so, so important.  We can't live looking for tomorrow.  We have what God has given us right now.  So that means adoption stuff is slow.  There is nothing wrong with slow--if that is what God wants for you.  He allowed the Israelites to wander in the wilderness for forty years after he delivered them out of Egypt.  Could He have plucked them from Egypt and neatly placed them into His promised land flowing with milk and honey?  You betcha.  Did He?  Nope!  He had a plan.  Why did He do this?  Deuteronomy 8:2 says, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."  God used this time to test and prove their faith in Him.  I think this home study process has been much the same for me.  It is testing ground.  Where does my faith stand?  In my own ability to chase down a document with lightning speed, getting all necessary signatures in record time?  Or does it stand in Him, on His promise to deliver us through this and provide for us according to His wishes for us?  There are certainly days that it is ever so evident to me that God is working in and through this adoption process and then there are certainly days that I like to puff out my chest in pride and foolishly think I can accomplish what He has called us to do.  Without his direction I am hopelessly lost.  I identify with the Israelites here.  I feel as though this home study has been our time in the wilderness and now, here we stand, on the precipice of the Promised Land.  We are about to enter the next phase of what He has promised to us.  Deuteronomy 8 further tells us in verses 6 through 10, "So you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.  For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs...and you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land he has given you."  I pray that I will remember God is the one who brought us through the home study process and God is providing us with the blessing of being able to complete each and every step of the process.

So what does all this boil down to?  Where are we?  So close I can taste it!  So close I get butterflies of excitement just thinking about it!  We have about 4 more videos to watch (about 40 minutes each and we're trying to do about 3 a week, so we should have those done by next week-ish), a workbook to complete with the videos (which we are trying to complete as we watch, so it should be done when the videos are done!!), a financial form to fill out, adult physicals to complete (mine is on April 7 and we need to schedule Chris'--they need to happen at the VERY end of things due to time requirements on signatures), one form from Chris' new employer, one more interview with our social worker, and another form for the guardians of our children should something happen to us.  That.  Is.  It!  Seriously, I look at all we've had to do and it is daunting and totally overwhelming, but God has been so good to just slowly move us through, biting off one small chunk at a time.  Lord willing, we will have a complete home study by late April or early May!  Next, we'll move on to the dossier and immigration application along with applying for grants to help us fund the adoption.  I'll write more about those things once we get in the thick of it.

So, what can you do right now?  Pray!  Pray God will clear our schedules and minds to complete these videos and workbooks.  Pray God would supply quick, easy, complete and accurate physicals with doctors dotting every "i" and crossing every "t" so we don't have to fight to get those documents done correctly.  Pray we would find a notary locally that we can utilize easily (and free would be every so wonderful, too!)--sooooo many documents need to be notarized now and we really need this to be something we can accomplish easily.  Chris is starting a new job and can't take off random afternoons frequently for getting items notarized.  Pray our social worker would have clarity of mind and heart as she writes our home study and that it will be a true and accurate depiction of our family.  Pray that in this we will never lose sight of all the mountains God has already moved and will continue to move on our behalf to bring our daughter home.

To those of you who have so sacrificially asked how you can help us financially; the time is rapidly approaching for you to be able to give and receive a tax deduction!  Once our home study is complete, our agency will set up a fund where you can mail your gifts directly to them and they will issue you the tax documents you need.  I will be sure to add a post with all of those details once they are made available to us.  We will have another large agency fee due upon the completion of our home study and another fee once we submit our documents to US immigration, so pray those funds will be readily available when the time comes. 

We are so thankful to everyone who has come alongside us through this process.  From the ones asking how to give (or those who have already given!), all of you praying, and down to the tender hearted friend who sweetly places me in the category of her "expectant mama" friends, thank you.  You give us encouragement and stamina to press on. 

Pressing onward toward the goal with so much eagerness and anticipation!

Adoption FAQ's

I thought I would write this post to answer some of the common questions we have, or likely will, encounter through our adoption process.  Hopefully it will shed some light on the beauty of adoption and our heart to be part of this design for creating a family.

Why are you adopting?  Are you no longer able to have children of your own?
Chris and I have never been very private about our struggle with a very mild form of infertility.  While getting pregnant is a challenge for me, it is not impossible.  We do not view adoption as a last resort and discussed adopting a child long before we even knew conceiving would be difficult for us.  We have had open hearts and minds to adoption for many years and have been waiting for the Lord to give us the nudge.  We're here now!  This is the time!  We realize we were orphans, separated from the Lord by our sin, and then saved by Jesus Christ and adopted into God's family as brothers and sisters.  We are so thankful for our own adoption that we want to embody that here on earth.  We cannot imagine our family without adopting a child.

Why China?  Why not a child right here from the United States?
This is a hard one to answer.  China has been on my heart since I was a young girl...probably in my college years.  I distinctly remember looking at adoption websites when I was in college and China was always where my heart felt led.  I don't know why, but that is what God has placed on my heart.  Chris always wanted to adopt and rescue an orphan, without ever having a real preference about where the child came from.  Since I had such a strong desire to adopt from China, he agreed to that as our focus for this adoption.  We realize there are many children around the world who are waiting for homes and families to love them.  We felt that international adoption was a better fit for us, for now, for this adoption.  My many years working in the field of social work and foster care definitely taught me of the great need for families for orphans right here in the United States.  I think the one difference we see is that orphans in the United States are placed in homes with parents to care for them on a day to day basis (even if it is a foster home) and children outside the United States are placed in institutions with little one on one care or contact from a loving, trusted adult.  God did not design children to thrive in orphanages.  The thought of rescuing a child from an orphanage and bringing them home to a loving, committed family is what stuck out to us.  So while we do not deny the tremendous need for families to adopt children born right here in the United States, we saw our opportunity to reach out to a child in need to be greater in an international setting.  International and domestic adoption are both great avenues for building a family.  We've just felt God leading us on the route to an international adoption at this time.

What do your kids think about this?
Joshua and Grace are obviously far too young to understand the concept of adoption.  We will do our best to prepare them to accept and love a new sibling just as we would if I were carrying the child in my own womb.  We are sure they will be blessed by the addition of a brother or sister to our family.  Jacob has a much better understanding about adoption and couldn't be more excited.  In his words, he has always wanted a "ginormous" family.  He has already begun to pray for his sibling and has asked many insightful questions.  We will continue to talk with him, prepare him, and welcome his inquisitive questions and remarks.  He has been exposed to several families in our church who have adopted and has already seen a great example of what that will look like in our home.

Isn't adoption horribly expensive?  How will you pay for it?
Truthfully, yes, adoption is a huge expense.  Truthfully, we have no clue where all of the money will come from, but we have full trust that God has called us to adopt and He will not abandon us with no way to finance it.  We know He will provide and we will be humbled by His provision.  We cannot wait to see His glory revealed through all of this!

How long will your adoption take?
From the very inception of our application with our agency, we were told to expect anywhere from 12-24 months (more likely on the 24 month end of things since we desire a girl).  We started our application in July 2013 and things are moving more slowly than I think I anticipated.  I'm still sticking with the 24 month goal with great hopefulness, but I am also trying to prepare myself to see that number eventually nudge toward 36 months.  Truthfully, we don't know!  God does though, and isn't there so much comfort to know He has it already all worked out?

What do your families think about this?
They are thrilled!!  Everyone has been so excited and supportive!  I will say that their reactions went beyond my expectations.  They are just as eager as we are to welcome a new child to the family and I think their hearts and arms ache almost as badly as ours do to be filled with our Little One! 

What can I do to help?
Pray!!!  Please pray for our family as we embark on this journey!  It is grueling.  It is exhausting and emotionally draining.  Pray we have endurance, energy, stamina, and don't get discouraged when we feel things aren't going the direction we had hoped.  Pray for our Little One!  That she might know love, safety, and nurturing during her stay in the orphanage.  Pray for her birth mother, for her heart, for the bravery to give her child life, and for strength to know when to let her go.  Pray for our children.  That their hearts and minds will be prepared to accept a new sibling when the time comes.  Pray for Chris and I in our marriage to stay strong through this process, to take set backs and difficulties in stride, and for our hearts and minds to be open and prepared for whatever needs our future child may have.  Pray for our social worker, US immigration officials, and the Chinese officials as they review our files and paperwork and that they might respond to us in favor.   Pray for God to speak to you if you ought to be involved more directly in helping us on this journey.  Some friends have donated skills and services to help us raise money, some have sweetly offered to listen to me babble when the going gets tough and offered a shoulder to cry on, some pray without ceasing, some have given us funds to help get to the finish line, some have given me their creative juices to come up with fundraising ideas.  Whatever your skills, gifts, talents....if God leads you to share them with us to accomplish this adoption, we would be so honored to use them!

So where are you in the process right now, in February 2014?
What I want to say and what the truth is are so totally different, yet so totally part of God's plan!  I want to say we are DTC (dossier to China).  What I have to say is that we are still digging through the mud of the home study process!  It is slow, we are slow, and well, it is just A LOT to do!  But we are plugging along and nearing that finish line!  I cannot wait to post once that home study is complete and hot off the presses in my hands!!!!  Soon!

Do you have more questions?  I'd love to respond to them!  Please feel free to post them on Facebook, e-mail them to me, or post them as comments on this blog!  I'll be happy to respond!

We're Adopting!

I have literally been bursting at the seams with anticipation of writing this post!  I cannot wait to share with you all God is doing in our lives!

When Chris and I got married, we very early shared with one another a stirring in our hearts toward adoption.  Both of us were curious, intrigued, and drawn to the idea of growing our family in this way.  We talked about perhaps adopting first, before we tried to have our own biological children.  God had other plans in mind when He blessed us first with Jacob and later with Joshua and Grace.  Still, despite our ever growing family, we both still had a deep longing to consider adoption.  When we first got married, Chris and I were planted in a different church from the one we now call home.  God lead us on a difficult and confusing path early in our marriage to consider a different church home.  In 2005 we planted our feet firmly into the family of Ashland Avenue Baptist Church and we have been so deeply blessed for it.  Not only are we weekly graced with outstanding expositional preaching and a myriad of opportunities to plug in and serve the body, but God also wove together as a part of His plan for us, a church home deeply committed to developing a culture of adoption within the church body.  What a blessing it has been for Chris and I to watch families go before us, stepping out in faith, and rescuing an orphan from various parts of this world and nation.  We have been so encouraged by the testimonies of so many.

As we considered growing our family again we knew God was throwing wide the doors for us to pursue adopting a child from China.  It is with great joy I announce to you that we are ADOPTING!  There will be one less orphan in this world and one more Burris.  We cannot wait to see God continue to weave together this aspect of our family life and we long for the day we will see the first photo of our daughter, pray for her by name, and hold our child in our arms.  I plan to blog our journey as much as I can.  Will you follow along with us?  Will you pray with us and for us?  We look forward to rejoicing with all of you when we bring our child home; this child not born of my womb, but born deeply in my heart as a tiny seed that has grown and grown since Chris and I were married in 2004.  9+ years of waiting on His timing.  The time is now and it is so good to know we are right where He wants us to be!

We're expecting!  Praying for a little one from China, arriving in the next 12-24 months!