Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Prayer

Some days there are no words for the journey of adoption.  I am thankful I serve a God who already knows them, knows my heart, and provides the words to say.  I am thankful I serve a God who already knows my daughter inside and out.

A Prayer for Little One
Psalm 139
A Psalm of David

O Lord, you have searched me and know me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night," even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O Men of blood, depart from me!
They speak agains you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain!
Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?  
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

When all is out of our hands and all is out of our control in the process of adoption, there is always this.  His words to my mama's heart.  HE made Little One, HE numbered her days, HE knows who she will be and when she will come to our family, and HE knows each delicate little piece that he wove together to create her.  HIS presence is so much better, so much safer, than anything I can provide.  HIS love is so much greater, so much deeper, than anything I can ever provide.  And so, I just pray.  Lord, be with our Little One and help me to trust in the journey to find her, knowing full well you created both of us, numbered our days, and prepared us both for the life you have us to live.  Lord, I am so thankful and grateful that your hand is upon her always.

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